Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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