Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize