I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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