He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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