Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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