Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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