Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
