Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
