When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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