also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
