"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
