Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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