You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
