need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just fell off a train. Bad.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
