I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
