:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize