How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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