wakey wakey hands off snakey
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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