Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
