grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
