she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
