Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
