I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
