Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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