white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
