break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
