I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
