super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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