P.S. I can't hear my feet
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
