"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize