we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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