are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
