did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
