toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Michael Bay diarrhea
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
