How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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