she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
