evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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