Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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