how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
