Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
