Little spoons don't ask big questions
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
