Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
