we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
