I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
