he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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