I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
