Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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