the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
