I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All the doctor said was why
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
