that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Welp...herpes.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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