I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
