She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
where are my eyebrows?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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