Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
