So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
