girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
