put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
