I feel great
I just peed on a car
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
