i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
