this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
