i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
