I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
