The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
