I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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