Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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