i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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