Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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