you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
