Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
