Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
