I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
