That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
