A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
