I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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