You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize