shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
